Teaching Instructors How to Use a ZigZag Exercise

The focus of this tutorial is how to use a ZIGZAG exercise in the classroom.  I like this particular exercise because it allows a certain amount of controlled chaos into the classroom and yet can bring home some powerful learning.  The example used in teaching the exercise is Conducting a SWOT analysis.  This is my favorite way to do a SWOT analysis.

I discovered the iPad app "bContext" which I used to create the tutorial below.  I know it isn't perfect but I think this is a cool way to teach and keep the tutorial around for use in the future.  You can embed it in sites such as this or send it by email link.  There are different versions of the app, some free, which is what I used to make this tutorial, and some paid, depending on your need.  Let me know your thoughts or if you have found an even better way to do the same thing.

Swot Analysis Using Zigzag Exercise

View more presentations from Rick Upchurch

Book Review: Leadership From the Inside Out, by Kevin Cashman

Leadership from the Inside Out, by Kevin Cashman.

I just finished listening to this leadership book by Kevin Cashman.  I found it in the audio section of my local library and thought it would be an interesting "read."  I was right, this was an interesting "read."  Because it was audio instead of print, I don't have quotes to share, but I can tell you that many times throughout the book I paused to make notes.  I also found myself thinking about what the author was sharing at various times and find that is has influenced my current behavior, which is the best recommendation a book can have.

The focus, as the title suggests, is on leadership from the inside out, i.e. start with yourself.  Obviously not a new concept but the book is full of practical ways to focus on various aspects of your leadership.  I  particularly appreciate the emphasis placed upon getting coaching for executives.  I worked at one institution where one or more of the executives caused so much disruption due to their leadership style that it effectively limited not only their own growth but the entire institution.  I highly recommend executive coaching for everyone in leadership positions, but especially for those who feel they are hitting a glass ceiling in their ability to grow personally or professionally.

Because this book is focused on the EQ of the leader, it will not be embraced by many who are looking for quick fixes or formulas for institutional or corporate growth.  Sad, because that growth comes from the productivity of highly effective people and sooner or later that comes down to their EQ.,

Definitely recommend.

The Challenge of Interpersonal Conflict or What to do with the Butterfly Dance

Probably one of the things which nearly everyone finds challenging if not outright scary is dealing with interpersonal conflict.  This is made worse when dealing with someone whose emotional engagement seems to overwhelm their ability to maintain respectful boundaries.

some examples

• When discussing statistics which indicate a lower performance of a business group, the individual in charge of the business group becomes angry and with raised voice, nearly yelling, starts to verbally attack the presenter, the source of the data and who asked for the report.  The belligerence increased to the point the conversation had to be delayed.
• A supervisor pounds the desk with his fist while practically yelling at a direct report, dictating a course of action whether it was liked or not.
• A colleague attempts to manipulate a decision by becoming loud, claiming the moral high ground, and suggesting that if the colleague doesn't go along with a decision that he would simply go over his colleague's head, intimating that it might affect their boss's opinion.
• A colleague attempts to manipulate a decision by expressing tears and an emotional connection, again claiming the moral high ground and pleading for their colleague to do the right thing even though clearly against policy and best practices.

All of these kind of things and more cause the butterfly dance to take place within my stomach.  My hands get sweaty, my voice seems to go up and become somewhat quavery.  Worst of all I feel threatened and my fight or flight biological response is definitely recommending a course of action (usually the wrong one).

Here are some thing which I have learned and am learning in situations like these and the many others which can cause the butterfly dance.

1.  Don't fight and don't flee - instead take a deep breath and ask yourself what might be going on inside of the other person's brain to act this way?   What could be their motive?  Are they feeling threatened?  Scared?

2.  Take another deep breath - trust me, your brain needs the extra oxygen and you need the extra seconds to process the questions asked above.

3.  Don't answer the immediate question, ask for clarification on any point related to the challenge.  It doesn't even matter what point.  Just ask the question.  This gives your brain more time and more oxygen (if you are remembering to breathe).  If you are fortunate, it can also side-track the challenge back into rational territory.

4.  If the belligerence continues, ask the direct question:  "This seems to be an emotional issue for you, would you like to talk about that?"  or "...do you need some time to calm down?"  or anything which gets the elephant in the room out in the open.

5.  Choose your battles carefully, some things are simply not worth bleeding over and others are worth dying for.  Don't burn a bridge you will likely have to cross in the near future (don't wreck a relationship for the sake of your ego wanting to WIN, i.e. you are giving in to the "fight" reflex).

6.  Don't become defensive.  If there is truth in what is being said, own it, acknowledge it, and learn from it.

Now, don't get the impression that I actually do all of this all of the time, I don't, but I am trying.  I'm pretty sure this falls under emotional intelligence and I definitely have room for improvement.

What do you do when you get the "butterfly dance" in your stomach?

Book Review: You Can't Lead With Your Feet on the Desk

You Can't Lead With Your Feet on the Desk: Building Relationships, Breaking down Barriers and Delivering Profits by Ed Fuller.

I received this book for Christmas.  It had been on my Amazon wishlist for a while and I was excited to get it.  I had heard a couple of good things about the book and the title alone seemed right in the middle of my interest, particularly the "Building Relationships" part.

I started it thinking it was a book about leadership.  It does, kind of, fit the category of Leadership.  The author shares leadership tips drawn from his experience in leading a division of Marriot.  So, is kind of a mentor/leadership book with this is how I/we/Marriot did(does) things and you can learn something from that.

Mostly it shares varies stories about Marriot Lodging International, with some supporting stories from other sources, mostly football.  Most of the stories are interesting and there are a few nuggets to be gleaned from the book, but if you are looking for a book on Leadership, this would not be a good first (or second or third choice).  However, if you wanted to know more about Marriot, this is your book.  By and large the book, to me, seems more intent on selling the Marriot brand thank anything else.

So, while I don't recommend it as a book on leadership, here are a few quotes which I hope you enjoy:

"Experience has taught me that, far from being irrelevant, solid relationships are the read bedrock of business success." p.4

"...to reinforce a productive relationship, you need to demonstrate fairness and evenhandedness...." p. 5

"There can be no letup in a leader's campaign to instill values in team members." p. 41

"In the final analysis, the praise or blame for an organization's ethics is its leader's responsibility." p. 42

"Everything a leader does, no matter how commonplace, has a symbolic value." p. 50

"When a leaders shows respect for an employee, it's a pretty save bet that the employee will return the gesture a thousandfold.  Effective leaders respect the feelings of the people in their organizations." p. 51

"...employees who feel they are respected can take pride in being a source of help for others." p. 56

"A leader can send no more powerful message than to provide support in a crisis.  It is the ultimate trust builder." p. 91

"Once trust is lost - with a person, a company, or a product - it's almost impossible to restore it." p. 92

"As George Bernard Shaw sardonically observed, 'The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.'" p. 98

"Paying close attention to what the person across the talbe has to say is the essential key to building a solid relationship." p. 99

"Don't let concerns about losing fact keep you from doing what needs to be done." p. 133

Family or Friends

I was listening to a radio show yesterday which asked their listeners to call in and respond to the question: Which is more important in the raising of a child, parenting or their friends?

Of course the correct answer is both, and both are supported by scripture, e.g. "raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. "( Prov. 22:6, paraphrase) and "bad company corrupts good character." (1 Cor. 15:33)

However, I think the importance of parenting vs friends has greater impact at different stages of life. For example when the child is pre-adolescent, the parenting is of primary importance and sets a solid foundation for character development.

When in adolescence (how long does that last?????) good parenting is still important to reinforce values and provide stability, but friends gradually take greater importance.  If the friends are good, then the values from the parenting are reinforced, if not, then they can be undermined.  That is why good parenting also cares about making sure the friends of their children are the right kind of influence by keeping the child around those kind of friends and limiting their exposure to less desirable friends.  This is also why large families often discount the importance of selecting good friends because the larger number of siblings ARE the friends and all have a common value system.

Even with poor parenting, the right kind of friends can have an overall positive impact both for the short-term and long.  Poor parenting joined with bad friends, on the other hand, is pretty much a recipe for a poor outcome, at least in most cases.

As the child grows past adolescence the values from good parenting begin to provide an anchor and eventually fulfill the scripture quoted above.  Depending upon how far the child has drifted from their roots, they may not come all the way back to center unless there is a life changing connection with Christ, for example.

Practice good parenting (which is really good leadership) even to the point of making sure your children are around the right kind of friends.  Do this and you decrease the likelihood they will stray too far from your values.  This is one reason why I can't recommend having your child attend a Christian University highly enough.  Your argument is that it is too expensive?  You don't know what expense is until you are dealing with problems caused by associations that lead your child down a dark path.  Yes, it could happen at a Christian University too, but the odds are far better there than the other options.

You say you want your child to be an influence on others so you keep them around other youths of questionable character.  This is just plain stupid.  At their level of development, the goal is not for them to influence others as much as to minimize negative influences upon their own development and maximize the positive influences.

This Little Light of Mine

This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine,
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

(adapted from original)

There is NO Magic Bullet

I love formulas.  Immediately upon receiving a spreadsheet, I begin to look for patterns and theorize algorithms to explain them.  Mathematics is so clean; one plus one equals two.

Working with people is an entirely different kettle of fish!  While many provide all kinds of psychological explanation for our behavior, the bottom line is that when people are involved there is no way to absolutely guarantee that one plus one equals two, or anything else for that matter.  A friend of mine, a Pastor, often joked with me that the job of Pastor would be a breeze . . . if it wasn't for the people.

When pulling onto the highway, some will graciously allow you room to merge and even blink their lights to let you know it is safe to proceed; others will see your merge as some kind of contest which they must win at all costs, speeding up to make sure you don't get ahead of them.

While boarding an airline some will help their fellow passengers with getting their luggage stored, others will selfishly take more than their allotted space in the storage bins and act as if it their right, even though others won't have space for their luggage.

At the church, some are faithful to serve and tithe, while others make every excuse why they cannot/will not, and complain about everything.

Don't even get me started about those who park illegally in handicapped parking.

Now, while the title of this post is that there is no magic bullet, I want to suggest that when it comes to dealing with people, there is, just not the one we would always like, you know the one where THEY straighten up and fly right!!  The magic bullet is prayer, not even prayer for them, although I'm confident they need it, but for yourself.  Prayer for understanding, compassion, and above all humility.

People are, and will always be, people: unpredictable, gracious, selfish, kind, mean, loving, hurtful.  the question isn't about them, but about YOU.

What you SEE in NOT what you GET.

Years ago I interviewed a young man and was so impressed by his obvious charisma that I hired him, only to discover that his skills and those required by the job didn't match.  Bad hire.  I was paying attention to appearances and hoped that someone so gifted would be able to transfer those skills to the position, in fact he assured me they would.  They did not.

I completely ignored my gut which would have at least slowed the process and allowed me to ask better questions.  This isn't the only time I've made decisions based more on "hope so" and "want it to be so" than on careful consideration.  Most of the time these decisions haven't worked out so well.  My problem is that I tend to be overly optimistic.  Couple that with the natural inclination of people to fool themselves and tell you they can do something they really can't or don't want to do, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Most decisions, at least significant ones, are better with a night's sleep and a willingness to ask precise questions related to the Tasks Which Define Success, not to mention getting the input of a colleague.

"Appearances can be deceiving." "You can't judge a book by its cover."  These sayings exist because they are true.  When it comes to hiring, people deserve to find the right niche where they can be happy and where they can bring to bear their unique gifts and skills to add meaning and be relevant.

A Year In Review & Top Viewed Posts of 2014

2014 has been a year of change: changed jobs, moved across the country, adjusting to living in the deep south, one son married, another announcing a pregnancy, just to mention a few.  Through all of these changes, God has supplied strength and guidance.  I am always so amazed at the way our lives unfold, never, it seems, like we would have imagined.  

Two accomplishments this year that were important to me:  First, I published the discipleship journal:  Spiritual Warfare: Our Weapons are Not of This World.   I have felt for years that this was a project which God wanted me to finish and am thankful that it is now available.  Second, I published in Kindle format, The Principles of Life.  I am passionate about using a set of life principles to guide your life and I have shared these principles with hundreds if not thousands over the last 20 years.

It is always interesting to look back at which of the posts have received the most views.  Here are the top 10 posts as ranked by views for 2014:

1.  Creative Followership book Review

2.  Scaling Up Excellence, Chapter 1

3.  Scaling Up Excellence, Chapter 4

4.  Holiness: What Do You Know of Holy???

5.  Scaling Up Excellence, Chapter 3

6.  Gratitude Challenge

7.  Scaling Up Excellence, Chapter 5

8.  Twilight

9.  3 Chairs & Granny's Angel

10.  Scaling Up Excellence, Chapter 6

Hope you have a blessed New Year.

It's Not Rocket Science - 12

When I was growing up we attended Southside Church of the Nazarene.  We were there pretty much every time the doors were opened.  Our family of five typically arrived early due to responsibilities held by various members of the family.  One family, however, ALWAYS arrived late, with little regard or concern for their late arrival, no matter how disruptive it might be.  I was speaking at a workshop talking about culture recently and asked the audience for examples of their family's culture.  An individual responded by saying the culture in their family was to always be late.

When that lateness carries over into the workplace, in can leave a damaging impression and creates a reputation which can delay or sidetrack an otherwise promising career.   This is particularly important for individuals starting out in their career to know:  People know when you arrive and when you leave, even if you think no one is watching!!!!    If you are consistently late, or leave consistently early, it is noticed and marked in the invisible ledger within the minds of others, who usually are very willing to share that information as gossip.

Being on time means being 5 minutes early!  Follow this practice and you add one more positive factor to your success; if you ignore it don't be surprised if your forward movement is slower than you like.

This is not rocket science - be ON TIME: to work, to appointments, to your life!

It's Not Rocket Science - 11

Several years ago I needed to hire an assistant, selected several applicants to interview and set up the appointments. Since this was an entry level position, most of the applicants were relatively young, either still in college, or just graduated.  What amazed me was how the majority of the applicants dressed for their interview:  Jeans and t-shirts were the norm for male or female.  I think America has fostered a culture which is so focused on ME being ME that young people moving into the workplace are experiencing a shock when this culture doesn't carry over into the workplace.

Honestly, how much common sense is required to know that an interview for a professional position, even if entry level, might require professional attire?  This should not be rocket science.

How you dress does make a difference in how you are perceived.  It says something about your judgement abilities.  It suggests whether or not you are wise enough to handle little things and thus may be able to handle larger things.  This kind of perception lies as a subconscious layer in the back of a supervisor's mind and may never get to the surface, but it impacts their decisions AND their evaluation of you, your abilities, and your potential for advancement.  Go ahead, say it: "that's not fair!"  Do you hear the violins playing?  Fair or not, it is reality so get over it.

Give some thought to how you dress in relationship to the position you have AND the position to which you aspire.  Dressing appropriately is just one more indicator that you just might be rocket scientist.

It's Not Rocket Science- 10

Trust, but verify.

Some of my greatest blunders can be traced back to promises made to me by others to deliver actions or products, which were not delivered.  This became my blunder because I had made promises depending upon others fulfilling their promises to me.  I assumed that because a promise was made that it would be fulfilled.  I have written in another post about the dangers of assuming and I have, unfortunately fallen prey to that more than I care to admit.

It's not that most people intentionally break their promise, but it happens.  That is why I say, trust - trust that people mean what they say and have every intention of fulfilling their commitments.  But I have also learned to verify.  Verify that the promise is being fulfilled before it becomes an emergency or failure.  You could also call this accountability.  Holding people accountable is unpopular and challenging.

If you will be judged on your output, and most of us are, and your output is dependent at least in part upon others, and this is also true for most of us, then follow-up accountability needs to become second nature to you if you are going to succeed;  Trust, but verify.

It's not rocket science.

It's Not Rocket Science - 9

Attitudes are contagious!  Your attitudes will have one of three sources:

1. You can consciously choose your attitude, or
2.  If you neglect to consciously choose, your attitude will coast toward that of those around you, or,
3.  It will reflect your emotions, i.e. your emotions are in control of your attitude and responses.

That is the heart of the matter: three sources.  Most people coast along with number two, reflecting the attitudes of those around them, unless something happens which sparks their emotions: they slam their finger in a drawer, their favorite team loses, etc.  When this happens the attitude moves from a coast to a rollercoaster with the same stomach lurching results.

However, there are a few people who recognize they can choose their attitudes and reactions, in spite of peer pressure or emotional upsets.  Think about where you work or the people you live with or around.  Place each one in group 1 or 2 or 3 from the list above.  Now which ones do you find most inspirational?  most effective? well balanced?  Happy?

It's not rocket science, choose your attitude.

It's Not Rocket Science - 8

I have heard it a million times:  "If it's not nice, don't say it."  I don't think leaders can always adhere to this saying, HOWEVER, I can say beyond any doubt, "If it's not the truth, don't say it."  ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell the truth, or say nothing at all.  Your career can survive a lot of things and you may even see some success at various points, but it will crash eventually if you tell lies.  A reputation as a liar is a death sentence for leaders.  NO ONE wants to follow ANYONE who is a liar.  Your customers will eventually catch on that you can't be trusted and you will lose them.  If you are a Pastor, same thing, you congregation will eventually catch you in a lie and they will either leave, or make sure you do.  Your staff will also figure out sooner or later that you can't be trusted and they will either leave or begin to be untrustworthy themselves, causing an even sharper spiral into disaster.

There may be times when you may not be able to share ALL the truth.  That too is part of leadership, but never allow yourself to slip over into telling a lie to cover up anything.  Lies will come out.  It may not be immediately, but they will come out and when that happens the seeds of distrust are sown and everything else you say or have said becomes suspect, no matter how right or noble all else has been.

It's not rocket science, ALWAYS tell the truth, or say nothing at all.

It's Not Rocket Science - 7

Watch the Eyes.

When in meetings or even just chatting with an informal group, watch the eyes of those in the group.  What you are looking for is to determine which individual gets the most "eye" time.  We humans have a tendency to constantly check with our eyes the body language and attitude of the individual we feel is most significant in any gathering, official or unofficial, i.e. the leader.  This might be through furtive glances or direct focus.  I've actually seen people answer a question that person A asked while looking at person B the whole time to get their feedback.

Whoever gets the most "eye" time is the leader, regardless of the flowchart.  You may agree or disagree, you may like it or not:  it doesn't change the reality.  Perception IS reality, and if those in the group are constantly looking at one person for approval, even if that is not the appointed leader, then that person IS the real leader.

This can benefit you in two ways.  First, knowing who the real leader is allows you to figure out who you need to influence.  Second, if you are supposed to be the leader, but it obvious that someone else is the real leader, you will know you need to do a better job building relationships and credibility.  I highly suggest the book:  Credibility, by Kouzes and Posner.  You can't demand leadership, it has to be earned.  This is one way you can do a quick read to determine who those in a group consider to be the leader.

It's not rocket science.

It's Not Rocket Science - 6

This one will sound so much like a "duh" statement I'm almost afraid to put it down, but after all that is the kind of things this particular series of posts addresses, so here goes.

When you write an email, please remember that no one can see your quirky smile, or frown, or wink, or ANY OTHER MESSAGE CONVEYED BY BODY LANGUAGE.  All the reader has to go on is the choice of words used and the order in which they appear.  No professional email should be sent without the author re-reading the email AT LEAST four times, once out loud, and reflecting carefully upon the choice of words and their order.  Ponder how the email will be received and the feeling it will provoke.  Yes, the feelings of the sender have to be considered because you will not be able to use your body language to offset any abrasion your words may cause.  Be clear, don't assume; convey your message, but DON'T digress.

Much of our communication today is by email.  There is noting wrong with that as long as you don't forget that relationships can be built or broken on a seemingly innocent choice of words.

It's not rocket science but few people actually much energy into crafting their emails to clearly communicate.

It's Not Rocket Science - 5

Good grammar matters!  Whether in writing or speaking, poor grammar will be a mark against you.  If you know you suffer from poor grammar in either capacity you should immediately find someone, even if you have to hire them, to coach you ruthlessly until you overcome this deficit.

If you aren't sure, ask a few people you work with if they ever notice you having trouble with your verb/subject agreements or use of pronouns when you are speaking.  Have them be brutally honest with you.  If not, great, however, if you get even one comment take it as the tip of an iceberg and attack this problem NOW.

Effective communication is the hallmark of leadership.  Poor grammar detracts from the message and lessens credibility in the speaker.  I know, that's not fair.  Have you heard?  Life is not fair.  Get over it and get on with correcting this problem.

It's not rocket science - to lead you have to be able to communicate clearly without glaring grammatical errors.

It's Not Rocket Science - 4

You may be under the impression that it is your intelligence or experience which has gotten you to where you are today.  No doubt these things have played a role, however, probably far less a role than you might imagine.  The primary reason you have been placed in leadership is because you have been determined to have the right kind of skills to lead and work with PEOPLE.  That is, it is your PEOPLE skills which are primarily considered in almost every promotion.  No matter how competent you are, if you don't have a developed set of people skills, you won't get far, and may not even stay at the level you are currently at.

Some have called this emotional intelligence.  I have written about this before - See these posts:

• EQ - The Difference Between Success and the Deadend
• Tone Makes the Difference

Whatever you call it, these skills are the hallmark of great leaders.  My experience is that most people think they have great people skills while few actually do.  Do yourself a favor and pick up Dale Carengie's book:  How to Win Friends and Influence People and take a refresher course.

This is a defining skill set - it may come easy to you or it might be hard work, but you can't ignore this if you want to be a leader.

It's not rocket science, All of Life can be reduced to Relationships (with PEOPLE)!

It's Not Rocket Science - 3

In It's Not Rocket Science - 2, I shared about the importance of identifying the TWDS (tasks which determine success) and then making sure to put them first.

What I neglected to say is that if your supervisor asks you for ANYTHING, that is immediately a TWDS.  I can't tell you the number of times I've see it happen that the supervisor asks for something only to have the direct report (you or me) get so wrapped up in getting the everyday things done that the supervisor's request is pushed back.  Doing so might be a passive/aggressive way of saying you have too much on your plate and you need some help, but I can tell you what message it sends to the supervisor:  You don't have a clear grasp of how to manage your responsibilities.

It may not be fair, but if you don't take care of the supervisor's requests in a timely manner, your competency will be questioned, as will promotions, raises, etc.  So, if your supervisor asks you for ANYTHING, place it at the top of your TWDS list.  Not just place it there, but get it done.  Not just get it done, but get it done above expectations.

If you struggle with making these requests fit into your other responsibilities, set up a meeting to discuss the problem with your supervisor, but DON'T ignore the requests or procrastinate them.

It's not rocket science.

It's Not Rocket Science

OK, there will be more of the It's Not Rocket Science posts coming.

However, it occurred to me that you might have something to say on this subject.  If you would like to write a "guest blog" on the topic, related at least loosely to leadership, please email me your post and if I agree I'll post it and give you full credit.

My email address is:  rlupchurch@gmail.com

Looking forward to hearing from you.