Tone Makes the Difference

  Recently I have been reminded of the significance of Tone in how conversations are perceived and the reactions engendered.  This short video captures some of that with these three points:

1. Tone is more important than the words used.  How we say something is more important that what we say.  Understanding this is crucial for anyone who desires clear communication.  But it also means that there must exist a certain amount of Emotional Intelligence on the part of the speaker to control their own emotions enough to modify the Tone so that the content of the message can come through.  If you can't control your own emotions, you can be sure that what you are saying is usually misunderstood and could be the source of frustration and difficult relationships at work, or at home. 
2. People's reactions are determined a lot by your tone.  Those reactions may seem all out of proportion to what you have said, either for good, or for ill.  If you perceive that the reactions to your comments don't match the content, it is probably because your tone of voice has conveyed an entirely different meaning.
3. You control the tone.  The world is full of individuals who would prefer to be victims and insist that they have no control over such things and that everyone misunderstands them.  Honestly, I have little time for these kind of people.  Everything rises and falls on leadership and leadership starts with me leading ME.  I refuse to be a victim!  Which means I have to accept responsibility for my communication, and thus the tone of voice I use in that communication. 

In conclusion - ponder these three points and start paying attention to how you say things as much as what you say.  This includes your email, too.