7 Habits - Book Study Session 1

Today at work (National American University) we began a book study based on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey.

Today's session was a kick-off to the study and covered the introductory material, although because of a misunderstanding we also got a taste of Habit 2 as well.  

The introduction of the book discusses the difference between the Personality Ethic and the Character Ethic.  The personality ethic, while providing excellent skills in interpersonal relationships, is built on a quick fix to issues through skill building.  These skills are important, but unless they are build on a foundation of character, they will not be able to provide long-term effectiveness.    Covey says, "Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value." p. 35.

Through a discussion of paradigms and perception Covey leads the reader through a mental process which reveals the significance of working on ourselves first:  "...private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others" p. 43.  The analogy used is to understand this is a process which cannot be short-cut similar to the process of planting, watering and harvesting crops.  You can't put off the sowing of the seeds until the fall and expect to reap the harvest a week later; there is a process which will lead to results if correctly followed.

The book looks at 7 habits that are broken into 3 groupings:

The first 2 habits deal with developing the practices that will lead to private victory, making it possible to move from a dependence mindset to independence.  The next 2 habits focus on developing independence (the ability to be apart from an unhealthy dependence on others).  The third set of habits focus on public victory and describe the practices which allow us to function effectively interdependently.  The final habit gives us the foundation for forward momentum.

If you have participated in the book study, or read the book in the past, or want to read along now and join the discussion I invite you to respond to this blog and share your insights and stories so we can all grow from each other.

Character Ethic vs Personality Ethic

I will begin leading a new book study soon in collaboration with another young leader from National American University.  The study this time will be on Steve Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  As you may know from reading some of my previous posts, I am a big fan of this book.  I definitely believe this is one of the MOST important reads for anyone who hopes to be effective, especially for those who are or wish to be leaders.

I will be posting summaries of the study as the sessions progress so I won't say much about the book at this point except to look at the contrast posed by the statement in the title, which is also the theme of the first chapter of Covey's book.

Here is my question:  Do you know of anyone has risen to a level of influence, possibly even the top position of influence in your organization, who is a jerk?  If not at your institution, do you know someone who fits that description at an upper management level at another institution?  My guess is that the response is going to be nearly 100% YES!

I think, and I may be wrong, that the majority of those who are teaching that the only way to succeed is through character development, are people for whom character matters.  I also think, and our poll above bears this out, that there is a whole lot of people who succeed for inexplicable reasons in spite of being jerks. 

If this is so, and even a cursory glance will tell you this is true, then what is the value of Character Driven Leadership?

Is there a greater percentage of Character Driven Leaders? if so it is not obvious
Are they more wealthy?  no
Do they lead larger organizations?  no
Are they respected more?  yes by some, but no by others
Are they happier?  some would say yes, but other would say no

Then what is the difference?  The only obvious difference I can see is that as they lead they damage fewer people along the way.  Character Driven Leadership respects and values other people more than themselves and that is reflected in their decisions and demeanor.

I'm biased: I try to practice Character Driven leadership and want to believe that this is the only true way to get ahead, but I've seen too many of the other ilk, the jerks who have made it to high positions of leadership, to know that is not the case.  What I have to do then is examine what I mean by "getting ahead" for I think it is in this definition the answer is revealed.  And for me that means quality relationships are the way I am most like who I was created to be; in the image of God.  So, I choose to focus on a Character Ethic as the foundation for how I live and how I lead, and let God work out "getting ahead" piece.

Love to hear your thoughts - please feel free to post a comment.

Fierce Conversation

Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Live One Conversation at a Time at A, by Susan Scott

I just finished this book and have to highly recommend it IF you live with or work around people.

As the title suggests, this is a book about communications.  However, in spite of what the title might imply or cause you to think, it is NOT about angry conversations or conflict resolution.

Instead, Susan Scott delivers practical  concepts along with easy to follow steps in designing ways to engage in productive conversations with the people in your life, whether at work or at home or somewhere in between.  I like that she included specific examples of dialogues and how to use her steps in building the pieces of the conversation so that it doesn't derail into territory that truly would result in conflict. 

The Mineral Rights process is a perfect example which starts with the question, What is the single most important thing we need to talk about?  and when the response is "I don't know,"  follow it with, "If you did know, what would it be?" and then allow some silence.  The Mineral Rights process outlined in the book allows you to walk through this conversation in a highly productive way leading to closure or resolution.

This is only one example of the tools which can be found in this book that could definitely enhance your ability to communicate effectively with the people in your life.

Should you own this book, definitely - and then read it and underline relevant passages - and then practice, practice, practice using the tools you will find inside.

Develop your team, or lose them . . . .

I ran across this review and since I am a firm believer in the responsibility of the leader to develop those around him/her, I thought I would share this with you:

Finding good employees is not enough. Organizations must have a plan in place to keep the employees they have. A priority for many employees today is career development opportunities.

The problem is very few managers and leaders feel they have the time to work on career development. Yet career development, say Beverly Kaye and Julie Winkle Giulioni in Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go, is nothing more than helping people grow. And that’s job one for leaders.

to read the original article click here

If I were a new Pastor . . . Part 5

14.  Go to the local Chamber of Commerce or Visitor's Bureau and get a physical map of the community around the church.  I know you can do this online but you will be better served in your early days to take this map and peruse it often.  Make notes on it where the other churches are located.  Note where the schools are and the shopping.  Note drug stores, theaters and liquor stores.  Highlight new housing areas as well older ones, including apartments.  Once you've gotten all this on there, locate your flock on the map as well.   See if you can perceive any patterns.  Ask yourself if there are any areas which seem to be under-served by the existing churches.  Now, go out and drive these same streets and look at the housing, the yards, and get to know your new home.

15.  If a work day is scheduled for the church - be sure you are one of the first ones there and be willing to work along side the congregation.  This should include your spouse if able.  You don't have to be the first one there, but you need to be one of those and you don't have to be the last to leave, but nearly so.  This will garner a great deal of respect from your congregation and you may need that later when you make a stupid mistake (and you will).

16.  Be careful about being too vulnerable.  If you have been wrong, admit it, we are all wrong sometime.  It is great to be able to laugh at yourself and you need to learn how to do this.    However, don't use anyone in your congregation, no matter how much you feel you can trust them, as your confident.  Although some in the congregation may want you to come to them for counseling avoid it like the plague.  You will need counseling from time to time - find it with your spouse or with a peer or even your supervisor, not with one of your laymen, and especially not with one of the opposite sex.  Can you say the word: IDIOT?

Soup: A Recipe to Nourish Your Team and Culture by Jon Gordon.  I just finished this short book by Jon Gordon.  Although it was an easy read, styled more like a story than a business book, this is one of the best books I have found for clearly laying out the necessary ingredients for effectively establishing culture and promoting team performance.

The story revolves around a company on the brink of closing.  The newly appointed CEO is facing an impossible task when she happens upon this restaurant serving the most amazing soup.  Once she meets the cook and begins to experiment with some of the "ingredients" for a different kind of soup, she finds the culture, and outlook for her company changing.  Along the way she is reminded of things she learned from her father about coaching and investing in people. The importance of culture is repeatedly emphasized, but in a way that makes it seem like something you would want to do anyway, you just need to be reminded.  I cannot recommend this book enough and will definitely be doing all I can to get every leader to read it..

The ingredients for "soup" are listed below but you will definitely want to get this book and study it to get the best benefit for you and your organization/church.

Stir the pot with love
Lead with optimism
Share the vision
Build Trust
Fill the void with positive communication
Add a big dose of Transparency and Authenticity
Create engaged relationships
Combine inspiration, encouragement, empowerment, and coaching
Fill up with appreciation
Heat with passion
Bring it all together with unity.

The author has written several other books with a similar style around other business topics such as: The Energy Bus, The No Complaining Rule, Training Camp, etc.