When falsely accused . . .

I will write this from the perspective of actually being falsely accused, rather than simply refusing to believe the truth in the accusation, as I think, most people are rather expert at twisting the truth to believe they are the subject of injustice far more than owning their reality.  Also, I am writing this in relationship to work situations, i.e. if a supervisor confronts you with an accusation of some inadequacy in your work, attitude, ethical conduct, etc.  With that being said, what should one do if falsely accused:

First, listen carefully to the description of your lack WITHOUT getting defensive.  This is the most important, and possibly the most difficult, thing you can do.  Being defensive, i.e. contradicting and defending your behavior can only escalate the situation, potentially resulting in hasty decisions, or actions, or both.  That is to say, you could quit in the heat of the moment, or get fired because of inflammatory remarks, or even be provoked to violence.  Far better to take a deep breath, or two, or three (it oxygenates the brain and helps you maintain control) and focus on listening.

Second, ask clarifying questions IN A NON-DEFENSIVE tone.  The goal here is to make sure you completely understand the issue being presented, not to defend your actions or honor.  The exception would be if you are specifically asked to make a defense, and even that has to be presented in as logical and rational a manner as possible.

Third, if possible, ask for a short period of time to reflect on the accusation and genuinely try to see the situation from your supervisor's point of view . . . and then determine what actions you could take to avoid the situation happening in the future.  Once you have cooled off enough to discuss the issue share your action plan with your supervisor.  Then do what you said you would do and follow the procedures you were directed to follow.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER make derogatory comments about your supervisor to anyone within the system (co-workers, other supervisors, basically anyone at work) and even avoid negative comments with anyone who is not a very close friend.    These comments will ALWAYS come back to bite you.  No matter how much you trust the person, it WILL get back to your supervisor and you WILL have to answer for your comments (even if it is by standing in the unemployment line).  This also goes for any form of social media: facebook, twitter, linkedin, etc.  It may not seem fair, but social media is public property and many have lost their jobs because of exercising their "freedom of speech."  Remember you have freedom of speech and your supervisor has freedom to fire.

DO find a close friend, spouse or out-of-state relative with whom you can vent.  Everyone needs to let off their frustrations.  How you do it, however, can get you fired if you're not careful.

Finally, if you like your job and are willing to modify your behavior, assuming it is not unethical, you will likely be able to weather these kind of storms and have a long career.  If what you are being asked to do is unethical - report the supervisor up the chain - if that doesn't work find another job - your character is your most valuable asset.  If, however, you don't like your job, think seriously about making a move to a position where you could be happy.

Now you probably didn't want this kind of advice.  After all, you were falsely accused.  Sadly, the rain falls on the just and the unjust ( that means that bad things happen to good people).  So, grasshopper, pay attention to what I have just told you and things will work out.  They always do, eventually.