I stole this from an old sitcom, The Odd Couple, staring Jack Klugman and Tony Randall where, as I remember it, Tony Randall was presenting an argument to a judge regarding a traffic accident and in the course of the argument made this classic statement using a white pad: ASS/U/ME means to make an ASS out of U and ME.
I know I make a lot of assumptions, and because of my nature, most of the time my assumptions are positive. This can be good, but it can also cause me to ignore signals that things aren't as positive as I have assumed them to be. On the other hand I know someone whose basic assumptions are, for the most part, negative. In this case everthing is cause for "doom & gloom." The classic glass half full / half empty personality types.
Regardless of where you stand on how full the glass is, making assumptions can truly accomplish what Tony Randall described. Because of this it behooves us all to be more attentive to recognizing and acknowledging the contributions of others, as well as confronting poor performance when in our area of responsibility. It means being sure to articulate more clearly our expectations as well as our accomplishments. It means participating. It mean engaging.
At one point I had a Dilbert cartoon taped to my computer monitor where the Boss was saying to Alice at her annual review something like "I'm pretty sure I remember telling you last year you were doing a good job." The look on Alice's face isn't one of appreciation but frustration at only getting feedback annually (or less) on her performance and "fit" within the organization. I don't want to be guilty of that kind of leaderhip, but it means that I have to participate. It means I have to be engaged.
Being engaged, at least from my perspective, means to fully be present in the NOW with clear values of Relationship, Excellence, Leadership (see my other posts about the principles of life). When I do this, I value the people around me and communicate that value; I set a standard of high performance, and I model that for others to see.
Of course, being human, all too often I assume I'm doing these things . . . .
Excellent post! It's all too easy to assume (what a dangerous word that is) that you are demonstrating to people that they are appreciated. But, it has to be more than an occasional (or annual) word of thanks or an "attaboy". Showing your employees that you care takes a lot of work - it's an ongoing evaluation of the work of those around you to make sure that their efforts, small or large, are recognized. It takes some work, but to an employee who may feel like their efforts are rarely if ever rewarded, it's definitely worth it. That's how employees can be retained long term, even in difficult work conditions, if they feel valued. I'm also a generally positive person, so it can take some work to steer away from my assumptions and make sure that I'm being responsible in my interactions with others. Encouraging others and providing honest feedback to others are important aspects to leadership that can't, but all too often are, ignored. A reminder of this is much appreciated, so thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteRichard, I believe you are right: it is hard to feel valued and be taken for granted at the same time, and yet that seems to be the norm. I take you for granted and believe you will understand that I value you . . . and it doesn't work and we wonder what happened.
ReplyDelete