Teaching Instructors How to Use a ZigZag Exercise

The focus of this tutorial is how to use a ZIGZAG exercise in the classroom.  I like this particular exercise because it allows a certain amount of controlled chaos into the classroom and yet can bring home some powerful learning.  The example used in teaching the exercise is Conducting a SWOT analysis.  This is my favorite way to do a SWOT analysis.

I discovered the iPad app "bContext" which I used to create the tutorial below.  I know it isn't perfect but I think this is a cool way to teach and keep the tutorial around for use in the future.  You can embed it in sites such as this or send it by email link.  There are different versions of the app, some free, which is what I used to make this tutorial, and some paid, depending on your need.  Let me know your thoughts or if you have found an even better way to do the same thing.

Swot Analysis Using Zigzag Exercise

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Book Review: Leadership From the Inside Out, by Kevin Cashman

Leadership from the Inside Out, by Kevin Cashman.

I just finished listening to this leadership book by Kevin Cashman.  I found it in the audio section of my local library and thought it would be an interesting "read."  I was right, this was an interesting "read."  Because it was audio instead of print, I don't have quotes to share, but I can tell you that many times throughout the book I paused to make notes.  I also found myself thinking about what the author was sharing at various times and find that is has influenced my current behavior, which is the best recommendation a book can have.

The focus, as the title suggests, is on leadership from the inside out, i.e. start with yourself.  Obviously not a new concept but the book is full of practical ways to focus on various aspects of your leadership.  I  particularly appreciate the emphasis placed upon getting coaching for executives.  I worked at one institution where one or more of the executives caused so much disruption due to their leadership style that it effectively limited not only their own growth but the entire institution.  I highly recommend executive coaching for everyone in leadership positions, but especially for those who feel they are hitting a glass ceiling in their ability to grow personally or professionally.

Because this book is focused on the EQ of the leader, it will not be embraced by many who are looking for quick fixes or formulas for institutional or corporate growth.  Sad, because that growth comes from the productivity of highly effective people and sooner or later that comes down to their EQ.,

Definitely recommend.

The Challenge of Interpersonal Conflict or What to do with the Butterfly Dance

Probably one of the things which nearly everyone finds challenging if not outright scary is dealing with interpersonal conflict.  This is made worse when dealing with someone whose emotional engagement seems to overwhelm their ability to maintain respectful boundaries.

some examples

• When discussing statistics which indicate a lower performance of a business group, the individual in charge of the business group becomes angry and with raised voice, nearly yelling, starts to verbally attack the presenter, the source of the data and who asked for the report.  The belligerence increased to the point the conversation had to be delayed.
• A supervisor pounds the desk with his fist while practically yelling at a direct report, dictating a course of action whether it was liked or not.
• A colleague attempts to manipulate a decision by becoming loud, claiming the moral high ground, and suggesting that if the colleague doesn't go along with a decision that he would simply go over his colleague's head, intimating that it might affect their boss's opinion.
• A colleague attempts to manipulate a decision by expressing tears and an emotional connection, again claiming the moral high ground and pleading for their colleague to do the right thing even though clearly against policy and best practices.

All of these kind of things and more cause the butterfly dance to take place within my stomach.  My hands get sweaty, my voice seems to go up and become somewhat quavery.  Worst of all I feel threatened and my fight or flight biological response is definitely recommending a course of action (usually the wrong one).

Here are some thing which I have learned and am learning in situations like these and the many others which can cause the butterfly dance.

1.  Don't fight and don't flee - instead take a deep breath and ask yourself what might be going on inside of the other person's brain to act this way?   What could be their motive?  Are they feeling threatened?  Scared?

2.  Take another deep breath - trust me, your brain needs the extra oxygen and you need the extra seconds to process the questions asked above.

3.  Don't answer the immediate question, ask for clarification on any point related to the challenge.  It doesn't even matter what point.  Just ask the question.  This gives your brain more time and more oxygen (if you are remembering to breathe).  If you are fortunate, it can also side-track the challenge back into rational territory.

4.  If the belligerence continues, ask the direct question:  "This seems to be an emotional issue for you, would you like to talk about that?"  or "...do you need some time to calm down?"  or anything which gets the elephant in the room out in the open.

5.  Choose your battles carefully, some things are simply not worth bleeding over and others are worth dying for.  Don't burn a bridge you will likely have to cross in the near future (don't wreck a relationship for the sake of your ego wanting to WIN, i.e. you are giving in to the "fight" reflex).

6.  Don't become defensive.  If there is truth in what is being said, own it, acknowledge it, and learn from it.

Now, don't get the impression that I actually do all of this all of the time, I don't, but I am trying.  I'm pretty sure this falls under emotional intelligence and I definitely have room for improvement.

What do you do when you get the "butterfly dance" in your stomach?

Book Review: You Can't Lead With Your Feet on the Desk

You Can't Lead With Your Feet on the Desk: Building Relationships, Breaking down Barriers and Delivering Profits by Ed Fuller.

I received this book for Christmas.  It had been on my Amazon wishlist for a while and I was excited to get it.  I had heard a couple of good things about the book and the title alone seemed right in the middle of my interest, particularly the "Building Relationships" part.

I started it thinking it was a book about leadership.  It does, kind of, fit the category of Leadership.  The author shares leadership tips drawn from his experience in leading a division of Marriot.  So, is kind of a mentor/leadership book with this is how I/we/Marriot did(does) things and you can learn something from that.

Mostly it shares varies stories about Marriot Lodging International, with some supporting stories from other sources, mostly football.  Most of the stories are interesting and there are a few nuggets to be gleaned from the book, but if you are looking for a book on Leadership, this would not be a good first (or second or third choice).  However, if you wanted to know more about Marriot, this is your book.  By and large the book, to me, seems more intent on selling the Marriot brand thank anything else.

So, while I don't recommend it as a book on leadership, here are a few quotes which I hope you enjoy:

"Experience has taught me that, far from being irrelevant, solid relationships are the read bedrock of business success." p.4

"...to reinforce a productive relationship, you need to demonstrate fairness and evenhandedness...." p. 5

"There can be no letup in a leader's campaign to instill values in team members." p. 41

"In the final analysis, the praise or blame for an organization's ethics is its leader's responsibility." p. 42

"Everything a leader does, no matter how commonplace, has a symbolic value." p. 50

"When a leaders shows respect for an employee, it's a pretty save bet that the employee will return the gesture a thousandfold.  Effective leaders respect the feelings of the people in their organizations." p. 51

"...employees who feel they are respected can take pride in being a source of help for others." p. 56

"A leader can send no more powerful message than to provide support in a crisis.  It is the ultimate trust builder." p. 91

"Once trust is lost - with a person, a company, or a product - it's almost impossible to restore it." p. 92

"As George Bernard Shaw sardonically observed, 'The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.'" p. 98

"Paying close attention to what the person across the talbe has to say is the essential key to building a solid relationship." p. 99

"Don't let concerns about losing fact keep you from doing what needs to be done." p. 133

Family or Friends

I was listening to a radio show yesterday which asked their listeners to call in and respond to the question: Which is more important in the raising of a child, parenting or their friends?

Of course the correct answer is both, and both are supported by scripture, e.g. "raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. "( Prov. 22:6, paraphrase) and "bad company corrupts good character." (1 Cor. 15:33)

However, I think the importance of parenting vs friends has greater impact at different stages of life. For example when the child is pre-adolescent, the parenting is of primary importance and sets a solid foundation for character development.

When in adolescence (how long does that last?????) good parenting is still important to reinforce values and provide stability, but friends gradually take greater importance.  If the friends are good, then the values from the parenting are reinforced, if not, then they can be undermined.  That is why good parenting also cares about making sure the friends of their children are the right kind of influence by keeping the child around those kind of friends and limiting their exposure to less desirable friends.  This is also why large families often discount the importance of selecting good friends because the larger number of siblings ARE the friends and all have a common value system.

Even with poor parenting, the right kind of friends can have an overall positive impact both for the short-term and long.  Poor parenting joined with bad friends, on the other hand, is pretty much a recipe for a poor outcome, at least in most cases.

As the child grows past adolescence the values from good parenting begin to provide an anchor and eventually fulfill the scripture quoted above.  Depending upon how far the child has drifted from their roots, they may not come all the way back to center unless there is a life changing connection with Christ, for example.

Practice good parenting (which is really good leadership) even to the point of making sure your children are around the right kind of friends.  Do this and you decrease the likelihood they will stray too far from your values.  This is one reason why I can't recommend having your child attend a Christian University highly enough.  Your argument is that it is too expensive?  You don't know what expense is until you are dealing with problems caused by associations that lead your child down a dark path.  Yes, it could happen at a Christian University too, but the odds are far better there than the other options.

You say you want your child to be an influence on others so you keep them around other youths of questionable character.  This is just plain stupid.  At their level of development, the goal is not for them to influence others as much as to minimize negative influences upon their own development and maximize the positive influences.

This Little Light of Mine

This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
  I'm gonna let it shine,
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bush, Oh NO
  I'm gonna let it shine.
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan pfff it out,
  I'm gonna let it shine.
  Let it shine
  Let it shine
  Let it shine

(adapted from original)

There is NO Magic Bullet

I love formulas.  Immediately upon receiving a spreadsheet, I begin to look for patterns and theorize algorithms to explain them.  Mathematics is so clean; one plus one equals two.

Working with people is an entirely different kettle of fish!  While many provide all kinds of psychological explanation for our behavior, the bottom line is that when people are involved there is no way to absolutely guarantee that one plus one equals two, or anything else for that matter.  A friend of mine, a Pastor, often joked with me that the job of Pastor would be a breeze . . . if it wasn't for the people.

When pulling onto the highway, some will graciously allow you room to merge and even blink their lights to let you know it is safe to proceed; others will see your merge as some kind of contest which they must win at all costs, speeding up to make sure you don't get ahead of them.

While boarding an airline some will help their fellow passengers with getting their luggage stored, others will selfishly take more than their allotted space in the storage bins and act as if it their right, even though others won't have space for their luggage.

At the church, some are faithful to serve and tithe, while others make every excuse why they cannot/will not, and complain about everything.

Don't even get me started about those who park illegally in handicapped parking.

Now, while the title of this post is that there is no magic bullet, I want to suggest that when it comes to dealing with people, there is, just not the one we would always like, you know the one where THEY straighten up and fly right!!  The magic bullet is prayer, not even prayer for them, although I'm confident they need it, but for yourself.  Prayer for understanding, compassion, and above all humility.

People are, and will always be, people: unpredictable, gracious, selfish, kind, mean, loving, hurtful.  the question isn't about them, but about YOU.

What you SEE in NOT what you GET.

Years ago I interviewed a young man and was so impressed by his obvious charisma that I hired him, only to discover that his skills and those required by the job didn't match.  Bad hire.  I was paying attention to appearances and hoped that someone so gifted would be able to transfer those skills to the position, in fact he assured me they would.  They did not.

I completely ignored my gut which would have at least slowed the process and allowed me to ask better questions.  This isn't the only time I've made decisions based more on "hope so" and "want it to be so" than on careful consideration.  Most of the time these decisions haven't worked out so well.  My problem is that I tend to be overly optimistic.  Couple that with the natural inclination of people to fool themselves and tell you they can do something they really can't or don't want to do, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Most decisions, at least significant ones, are better with a night's sleep and a willingness to ask precise questions related to the Tasks Which Define Success, not to mention getting the input of a colleague.

"Appearances can be deceiving." "You can't judge a book by its cover."  These sayings exist because they are true.  When it comes to hiring, people deserve to find the right niche where they can be happy and where they can bring to bear their unique gifts and skills to add meaning and be relevant.