Pondering the Mysteries of Life

Here we are at the end of another year.  Older and arguably wiser, although some might contest that assumption. 

At this time I always begin to reflect over the events of the past year from a forest/trees perspective.  That is, I try to step back and see how the events of the year have fit into the whole of my life.  Like the tapestry analogy which we have all heard, what have the events of my year contributed to the "picture" being formed by my living. 

• Did I make good choices?  
• Have I done anything which benefits others: eg my family, my friends, my co-workers, my fellow church goers, humanity in general?  
• Have I remained true to my values?  If not where am I slipping . . . and why?  
• What challenges did I face, and did I do so with God's grace and courage, or did I flee and hide.  
• Have I hurt someone.
• Would anyone say that their life has been blessed because of something I have done or said?
• Did I reach the goals I set for myself, and if not, why not?
• What new goals should be part of this new year . . . and what is my plan to realize those goals?

I hope you ask yourself these questions, too.  That is really one of the major things which continues to define us as being made in His image, i.e. that we care about how we have and are connecting with each other.  After all, if you can't lead yourself, you will eventually fail in your attempts to lead others.

I digress . . . p2

Are television and movies a reflection of life, or an initiator of behavior . . . or both?  When I see a rise in shows that portray atrocities and in life we experience atrocities such as the elementary school shooting a couple of weeks ago my mind automatically looks for patterns, and then alternative solutions.  Here's one solution.

Anytime an individual AND his/her accomplices are convicted of premeditated action which results in the death OR addition to a controlled substance involving two or more children under the age of 12 there is a mandated death sentence.  That this be a federal law similar to that established for taking hostages.  Also, should an individual AND his/her accomplices be convicted of attempting premeditated murder or distribution of a controlled substance involving two or more children under the age of 12, there is a mandated life sentence without parole.

Our children must be protected.

Just a thought - yours??

Session 5 - 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

7 Habits - Book Study Session 5

Maggie Flemming led the discussion on Habit 7 as we concluded our study of this book.

Habit 7 is Sharpen the Saw: Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal.  Using the four words suggested by Covey, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social/Emotional, Maggie challenged those attending to think about how to re-phrase these 4 areas in a way that was personally meaningful.  This led to the conversation about each of the areas and our own personal understanding of the area and, of course, how much balance we are experiencing among the four areas.

Probably the area receiving the most attention was the Physical Dimension.  Focused on Exercise, Nutrition, & Stress Management, I think we all agreed this is an area where there is room for improvement.  We learned that some literally hate exercise and that finding balance in this area has been a challenge.  Still, from Covey’s explanation I think we all came to see that if we ignore this area it adversely affects us in other areas and makes it difficult for us to be truly effective.  Eating nutritiously is a big part of this, but, unfortunately so is exercise.  Like in all things finding the right balance so that it compliments the whole rather than becomes an obsession probably will require more effort than any of the other areas.

The Mental Dimension encourages us to do the right things to keep our minds active.  I like to play sudoku and other puzzle games help.  I have also found it useful to keep four books going at any one time:  one that focuses on leadership, one that is professional related to my work, one that is spiritual/devotional, and a novel.  I have found this keeps my mind active and opens up new thoughts and ideas.  Whatever we do, it won’t happen accidently so, again, this will require us to exercise that habit of proactivity.

Spiritual Dimension.  Maggie encouraged us to think about this in different ways depending on your understanding of “spiritual.”  She suggested values or conscience as another way of thinking about this dimension.  We didn’t discuss this much but I certainly believe that we are created with a spiritual dimension and that to ignore this is to basically eliminate a major portion of our self.  Since we are doing this around Christmas: think Scrouge and you’ll get the picture.

The final dimension was the Social/Emotional.  Here Maggie equated this with relationships and I heartily agree with her.  The importance of balanced attention to our relationships cannot be overstated.  The impact of how we script others through our actions/words as well as how we ourselves are scripted was discussed.  Understanding ourselves and our own values helps us to avoid the negative scripting of others; it also helps us to avoid negatively scripting others.

If you have a story or thought to share about any of the four area, please comment in reply to this post.

All in all this was an excellent study and Gordon even recommended that all new hires be required to participate in a study of this book within their first year of employment.

The next study will be announced soon.

Book Review: The Facts of Business Life

What is needed in order to be a good leader? I think it begins with two macro concepts. First, a leader has to have the ability to visualize what success looks like; meaning that . . .

Read the rest of this article which is based on the book:  The Facts of Business Life.  Definitely interesting.

I Digress . . .

You may not be aware of it, but in ancient Egypt, if a Pharoah was usurped it was often the case that the new Pharoah would have any references to the deposed Pharoah removed, be it in scrolls or even when carved into stone.  It would all have to go and the memory of that individual was eliminated from the history of the nation.

Today we have some conservative religious groups who practice "shunning" for any members of their sect who break with the tennants of their faith and their community.  The one shunned is treated as if they don't exist for the rest of the community.

Let me preface the next paragraph by saying I am definitely in favor of treating every person in my life as a person of value.  You may know one of my principles of life is that "Everything can be reduced to relationships."  You may not know that I equate "being made in the image of God" with the importance of interpersonal relationships.  If we treated each other with love and respect (or at least respect) that would remove a lot of the excuses for some of the heinous acts we hear about.

So, here's what I'm thinking.  When tradgedies occur like what happened in the school shooting last week, let's commit ourselves as a society to eliminate ANY media attention to the perpetrator of the atrocity.  Let's eliminate that individual from the collective memory and pay attention instead to the value and beauty of life.  I don't want to hear the name or whatever rationale has been cooked up by distraught (don't get me started on parenting) parents or psychologists looking to make a name for themeselves by tying their wagon to the pain of others.  Whoever it is, and for whatever reason it was done, should be noted as a NON-Person.  Sure study the causes and hopefully find something beneficial, but eliminate the name and the memory of the individual.  Does that sound harsh?  Ask the parents of the slain children and see what they think.

Flow Charts - how important are they?

I heard someone talking the other day about being raised on a farm and mentioning the various animals that were a part of the growing up experience.  Then they made an interesting statement, "When you hear about there being a 'pecking-order' among chickens, its really true."  

Something else is true: there is also a 'pecking-order' in authority and influence in every gathering of human beings, from the informal to the highly focused.  You may not want this to be the case, you might even insist that in your organization, at least, it is not the case, BUT IT IS ALWAYS THE CASE.  There is always structure. 

In some cases the structure is informal where everyone pretends that there isn't a structure and everyone has an equal say (even though most will look to one individual or another before actually weighing in on a decision to get their opinion)  and in other cases there is a clearly outlined structure with a defined flow-chart (which may or may not reflect the actual flow of authority and influence).

The benefit of the flow chart is that it presents a visible/tangible explanation of how authority is supposed to flow within the organization.  With careful work, rigorous conversations, and constant attention, the flow chart can be of great value in directing the energies of the organization to be more effective.  If, however, the flow chart is simply an exercise to accomplish, it is likely that it doesn't accurately reflect the authority structures of the organization, and is, thus, useless for all intents and purposes.  I suspect that if you are dubious of the value of a flow chart it is because your experience is more with the latter method described above than the former.

Influence is an entirely different animal and I'm not sure I've ever seen a flow chart build from the perspective of influence.  Most flowcharts are build on the basis of position, but if it were built on the basis of influence it would revolve around individuals.  My experience has been that influence doesn't necessarily follow the same paths as authority so this would be an interesting project.

Bottom line - spending time building and maintaining an accurate flowchart that everyone agrees to and follows is a worthwhile investment.

Character Based Leadership

"The greatest threat to any leader comes not from without, but from within. It is who we are, more than anything else, that will derail us. The traits we so value in great leaders is a matter of character. And it is through this character that our leadership is manifested. It creates the space in which we lead.

Good leadership rests upon good character. "

To read the full article click here 

This is a book review from another leadership blog which reinforces many of the other posts I have made here, i.e. Character makes a difference in leadership.

7 Habits - Session 4 - Guest post by Nicole M. Wilson

Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then be Understood

As I looked through the book chapters, one chapter in particular stood out – Empathic Communication.  I’ve always thought of myself as an effective communicator, but this chapter challenged me to change my perspective regarding communication.  Generally speaking, people listen with the intent to reply; in doing so, we often “misdiagnosis” the real problem.  Covey suggests that to improve our effectiveness as leaders, we must listen with the intent to understand.  Don’t just understand the words, understand the true emotion behind the words.  Communication is 60% non-verbal, 30% tone of voice and 10% words.   

Empathic communication recognizes that, to get the full picture, you need to listen to what isn’t being said. Listen with your ears, your eyes and your heart.   Covey goes on to suggest that once we truly understand the other person (where they’re coming from and why), we have built a foundation of trust and established our credibility.  It goes back to the old saying “Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care”.  Once understanding is established, people are more responsive to our need to be understood.  When we really, deeply understand each other, we open the door to creative solutions and third alternatives. Our differences are no longer stumbling blocks to communication and progress. Instead, they become the stepping stones to synergy (pp. 259).

Habit 6 – Synergize

Synergy is everywhere. It can be positive synergy or negative synergy.  In habit 6, Covey defines synergy as “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.  Anyone who has been a part of a championship team, or a successful project implementation can relate to the power of synergy.  It seems when a team is on a roll – they’re unstoppable, but when they’re having a losing streak, they can’t seem to break it.  Things continue in the direction that synergy pushes them. Covey notes that once people have experienced true synergy, they are never quite the same again. 

As we discussed the concept of synergy during the book study, we shared our personal experiences.  It isn’t surprising that all of our experiences had a common factor – trust.  Trust is the foundation of a relationship and is a necessary foothold if we are going to be effective leaders.  When trust is established, people feel safe to share new ideas or concepts and brainstorming is maximized.  High levels of trust combined with high levels of cooperation allow for win/win situations to be created.

Employee Engagement

I recently conducted a survey at work on employee engagement and have been doing some research related to this topic as part of that project (thank you to Nicole Wilson, Michaelle Holland, Tiffany Smith and Jackie Peterson for your assistance).

What I have discovered is that there is a connection between how engaged an employee is at work and the quality and quantity of their production . . . duh!  Of course people who feel connected to their work through the mission and/or the relationships with their supervisor or coworkers will pay more attention to the quality of their work and accomplish more.  This is not rocket science. 

Here is how I laid out my project:

• Goal:  Have the place where I work be recognized by the employees as one of the best places to work.
• Strategy to achieve the goal:  Conduct semi-annual employee engagement surveys and employ specific tactics to reach the goal.
• Tactics:  Identify 3 factors from each survey which evidence weakness in employee engagement and focus the attention of the institution's leadership on those factors, proposing specific actions which should positively affect and improve the scores for these factors on the next survey.
• Implementation:  Use the 3 points from Switch by Chip and Dan Heath to design the activities which will accomplish the tactical goal.
• Direct the Rider - present the rational argument for improved employee engagement and how to accomplish this
• Motivate the Elephant - discover the place where the emotion connects through stories and/or visuals which will emphasize the need for behavioral change
• Shape the Path - design easy to accomplish steps with clear directions
• Measurement:  The scores from the next survey should show improvement in at least these three factors, if not, identify and employ further efforts to affect the score.
• Repeat

Now, you ask, how did the project go?  Good question, I'll have to let you know as this is definitely a work in progress!

How would these steps work for you in thinking about a project you are working on?

Trust - the foundation of leadership

I saw this book summary about a new book which focuses on 8 pillars of trust (check out the link if you want to get the details) and thought it was worth a post.  Trust is not a new topic to this blog or to anyone familiar with leadership.  Trust truly is the foundation of leadership and most books which deal with the broad topic usually begin at this point.  The book referred to above uses a paradigm which may reinforce for some the basic tenants of trust and if so it would be a worthwhile addition to your library, especially if this is a challenge area in your life. 

What I find interesting is the devotion of an entire book to the subject.  It reinforces for me the thought that there must be a significant gap in our current culture or social gestalt that this book addresses.  This, then raises the question: has this gap always been present, or is our ignorance of this foundational character trait something relatively recent?  I suspect the answer could be traced through the news stories of scandal and unethical practices up to and including the recent troubles at the highest levels of the CIA, and whether or not such stories are on the rise.

For me this speaks to the larger question of values and a culture which is slipping away from the Judeao-Christian principles upon which it was based.  Too many disconnect their faith from their practice, even assuming there is a foundation of faith to begin with, which is increasingly unlikely.  Is there any wonder we need a book which focuses on trust?  And yet, how much hope can we hold out to appeal to an individual by saying that developing this character trait is in their best interest, when the appeal of other, more tangible and immediate pleasures are constantly available.  Can "trust" when separated from faith-based values truly win out over self?  I think for most, the answer is NO.

So, while I think there is value in this book, I would also refer you back to another book: the Bible and encourage you to make a connection with the One who can truly give you the big picture look at life, success, and what trust really means.

7 Habits - Session 3 - Guest post by Maggie Flemming

7 Habits - Book Study Session 3

On November 9 we had the third session of the study for The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey. 

In this session we discussed Habits 3 and 4.

Thank you to Dan Irvin and Gordon Brooks for leading the discussion.

Habit 3 – Put First Things First

Covey asserts that Habit 3 is “the fulfillment, the actualization, the natural emergence of Habits 1 and 2” (p. 147). It is very important that this step occurs after self awareness and mental preparation because one could be inclined to skip Habits 1 and 2 and jump right in to acting out the changes they want to see. Habit 3 is all about reaping what you sow, and if you don’t take the time to prepare yourself for a paradigm shift internally, Covey argues that acting out the habits will be a temporary solution, at best. However, he makes the same argument in reverse as well when he asserts that the power of independent will is what gives people the ability “to proactively carry out the program we have developed through the other three endowments” (p. 148). In other words, Habit 3 is the manifestation of the vision that is developed during the first two stages, and without Habit 3 that vision cannot ever be actualized.

Covey describes four generations of time management that essentially show how the most “evolved” notion of time management (the fourth generation) is really not about managing time at all but about managing ourselves and ensuring that our actions align with our core principles. Covey then presents a time management matrix to show the different ways that people spend their time. He argues that people are most inclined to spend time in areas of urgency or business but that people should spend time on matters of importance. People who spend time on the activities in the second Quadrant (prevention, PC activities, relationship building, recognizing new opportunities, planning and recreation) tend to handle genuine crises well while preventing the majority of them, and they are more productive and happy than people who spend their time in the other Quadrants. Effective people spend their time focusing on opportunity, results, and solutions instead of the problems.

In order to make the transition into someone who spends time on important things and becomes an effective self-manager, Covey suggests that we identify and prioritize all our different roles (individual, spouse/parent, employer/employee, volunteer, etc.) and then identify how our goals align with our roles and mission statement. He suggests that on a moment to moment basis we are making decisions that affect our goals and reflect our mission statement and that we should learn when to say no. This is a useful tool to remain aware in each moment of how our decisions either help or hinder our goals and mission.

Finally, Covey discusses how managers can delegate responsibility to help meet goals. He suggests that leaders/managers should identify the desired result for the designee but allow them to choose their method. This is called Stewardship delegation. Controlling their methods is part of the Gofer delegation that Covey argues is most common but the least effective. If “trust is the highest form of human motivation” as Covey argues, then certainly leaders must learn to delegate by sharing the goal and trusting their designee to enact effective methods (p. 178).

Habit 4 – Think Win/Win

Habit 4 explains the six paradigms of human interaction: win/win, win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win, and win/win or no deal. Covey’s answer for which paradigm is best is not black and white; in fact, he writes that it depends on the situation. The only paradigm he argues has no place in a functional interaction is lose/lose. If possible, the ideal scenario is win/win, so Covey breaks down this particular paradigm. He illustrates the five dimensions of the win/win paradigm (character, relationships, agreements, supportive systems, and processes) to see how they relate to each other, but perhaps the more overarching illustration is the chart that shows that win/win requires a balance of courage and consideration. Balance is not something we typically gravitate towards since it requires more consistent self evaluation than if we just decide to be always courageous or always considerate. This balance is what Covey calls maturity.

A common pitfall for people when trying to accomplish the win/win paradigm is what Covey calls the “Scarcity Mentality.” The opposite mentality is what supports and promotes a successful win/win paradigm – Abundance Mentality. This is the idea that “there is plenty out there for everybody” (p. 219). This requires trust and consideration, two qualities that Habit 3 emphasizes. One has to trust that their hard work will earn due recognition while simultaneously considering the other person and choosing to promote their success as well.

Since the win/win paradigm is about human interaction and therefore applies to many types of relationships and scenarios, there are many different applications of it, but in all instances the goals, guidelines, resources, accountability and consequences must be clear. The way you present them may be different if you are addressing an employee, co-worker, spouse, child, etc. Covey notes that while we may encourage a win/win mentality, we must be careful to not reward in win/lose situations or our actions will be in conflict with our ideology. This means that as managers or as leaders of the win/win mentality, we have to be very aware of what we are rewarding as not all successes result from a win/win scenario.

Conclusion

Now it is your turn to share: 


•    Think of a time when you focused on the problem instead of the solution. Now think of a time when you focused on the solution instead of the problem. Think about how focusing on the solution made you a better leader, model and person.

•    Think about a way that you could delegate responsibility to someone in your personal or working life to improve your relationship and better meet your goals. How would you implement the Stewardship delegation approach in this scenario?

•    What is one way you could reassign the way you spend your time so that you spend more time engaging in Quadrant 2 activities?

•    Reflect on a time when you engaged in a paradigm of human interaction that did not work out positively for both you and the other person (or company/department). Could you have turned that situation into a win/win, or would another paradigm have worked better?

The next session will be November 30.

You Can't NOT Communicate

David Grossman, author of You Can’t NOT Communicate says that there are very few things in this world that are neutral. Everything you do, and everything you say, communicates something. And, importantly, everything you don’t do, and everything you don’t say, communicates, too.
 
Communication, the right kind of communication, IS one of the KEY responsibilities of Leadership, and there is always room to sharpen your skills.

If this sounds interesting, check out the rest of this article at this link.

LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION — How to Hold Someone Accountable

I saw this article on holding people accountable and thought you would find it interesting.  Accountability is one of the most challenging aspects of leadership.  This article starts from a question raised about what to do when you have made someone cry.  If this sounds interesting you can find the article at this link:  How to Hold Someone Accountable.

After reading the article please come back to this blog and post your personal experience, either from a manager or employee perspective.

7 Habits, session 2

7 Habits - Book Study Session 2

On October 19 we had the second session of the study for The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey.  I this session we discussed Habits 1 and 2.

Thanks to Gordon Brooks for his technical assistance and to Chris Nelson for leading the discussion on Habit 2

Habit 1 – Be Proactive

This is the first of 3 habits which are focused on achieving Private Victory.  The premise is that before one can move forward in becoming effective in a larger arena, there has to be victory in the private or personal arena.  This habit is one of the most powerful because it addresses the basic nature which we all deal with:  “Its all about me.”  Even when we say it’s NOT all about US, most of the time we act as if it really IS all about US/ME.  Covey does a good job in explaining the difference between two models of social interaction:  Proactive vs Reactive.  In the proactive model, the individual accepts responsibility for their own life and that their behavior is a function of their decisions, not the conditions/circumstances of their life.  The reactive model, which unfortunately most people start from and never escape, says that our circumstances, our background, and DNA control our lives, thus they are NOT responsible for their life or behavior.

He uses the story of Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Nazi death camps and his discovery of the ability in spite of the circumstances to be proactive in relationship to his attitude and responses to what was happening to him.  Regarding Frankl, Covey writes,

“They could control his entire environment, they could do what they wanted to his body, but Viktor Frankl himself was a self-aware being who could look as an observer at his very involvement.  His basic identity was intact.  He could decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him.  Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.” P. 69

On the other hand, reactive people “build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weakness of other people to control them.” P. 72.  This is most often seen in the language an individual uses.  Proactive language says “I can” “I choose” “I prefer” while reactive language concedes all power to the circumstance or others, saying “I can’t” “I must” “They won’t allow that” etc.  The power of language both to reveal our operating model AND to influence a new operating model, I think, is powerful.    

Also part of this habit is the recognition of the circle of concern, which is basically everything with which we are concerned, and the sub-set of the circle of influence.  According to Covey the circle of influence references those parts of the circle of concern which we can impact through a choice or an action.  To go back to Viktor Frankl’s story.  He could not influence the fact that he was in a Nazi death camp, but he could influence how he responded.  An illustration from the conversation in the group cited being caught by a train while running late for work.  We can’t influence the train or being caught (at that moment in time) but we can influence how we respond.  Which is not to say we couldn’t assume an even more proactive stance and make sure we arranged our schedule as much as it is in our power to do so to not be late.

Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind

Once we’ve begun to accept the proactive model Covey moves to the second of the Personal victories: setting the values which are more enduring, and then living in such a way as to achieve those values.  The initial illustration is to imagine you are attending your own funeral and listening to what is being said about you and imagining what you would like to have said and from that begin to construct the type of values and goals which would lead to that end.  Covey writes:

“How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.  If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” P.98

 He also uses a great illustration about moving through a jungle at great expense of effort only to discover that it is the wrong jungle.  This metaphor connects us to the possibility that while we might be making progress in our life, it quite likely is not toward the goal we would desire if we took the time to examine our life.  Covey encourages us to construct a personal mission statement which defines the basic values and goals of our life and then to use that document to construct similar statements for our family and work life.  By creating this statement we will have to stop the busy movement through what is potentially the wrong “jungle” and begin to identify what is really most important for us and the heritage which we hope to leave behind.

Covey spends some time in this chapter discussing the various centers which people allow to control their life and their destiny, especially in reactive mode, including:  spouse centeredness, family centeredness, money centeredness, work centeredness, possession centeredness, pleasure centeredness, friend/enemy centeredness, church centeredness, and self-centeredness.  Identifying your center, within a proactive model, allows the opportunity to consider how to effectively bring balance to all the aspects of life based on values.  Covey calls this “principle” centered.  He writes.

“But there are several important differences when you are coming from a principle-centered paradigm.  First, you are not being acted upon by other people or circumstances.  You are proactively choosing what you determine to be the best alternative.  You make your decision consciously and knowledgeably.  Second, you know your decision is most effective because it is based on principles with predictable long-term results.  Third, what you choose to do contributes to your ultimate values in life.” P. 127

The last thing I will reference in this blog post regarding Habit 2 is Covey’s comments on visualization.  I’m a big personal believer in the power of visualizations.  The practice of visualizing our responses and achievements can have a powerful impact on their becoming reality.  Definitely worth considering

Conclusion

So, now it is your turn to share: 

• describe a time when you were proactive or reactive and the effect it had on you and/or those who were involved. 
• Have you written a personal mission statement?  What should be some of the key components of such a statement?  When you “begin with the end in mind,” what immediately comes to your mind and why?
• Any other comment related to the content of these two habits you would like to share?

The next session will be November 9.  The discussion for Habit 3 will be led by Dan Irvin and for Gordon Brooks will lead the discussion for Habit 4.

Leadership and Self Deception - Review

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting out of the Box, by the Arbringer Institute.

This book reads like one of the fables from Lencioni or Jon Gordon.  Easy to read and with a plot line for those who have trouble following more traditional models of leadership books.

I liked the metaphor of the "box" in this book. The "box" equates to being self-deceived.  The authors, through the use of the story, explain that we are either in the box or out of it in all of our relationships.  Being in the box means being self-deceived and is a narrow focus upon our own personal goals and desires to the exclusion of even considering the feelings of anyone else.  Being in the box is an unconscious casting ourselves as the hero and anyone who thwarts our personal satisfaction as the villain, albeit of various levels of villainy.   An obvious example is our perspective when we are driving toward others on the road.  If they don't impact our own progress, we largely ignore them, however, if they impede us in any way we may respond with some level of anger at their poor driving, even if the problem has nothing to do with them or may even be our own fault.  Being in the box can apply to any of our relationships, including our marriages as well as work relationships.

The authors also touch on what it means to get out of the box and how to begin developing an others focused mindset which will release greater power and effectiveness in all the aspects of our life.  To me this seemed like an effort to try to live by Christian values and perspective, without any mention of, or without the power of, a relationship with Jesus.

With all that being said, I am not recommending this book.  I found the whole thing doing exactly what it said it was not doing, i.e. designing a way to manipulate others to achieve success.   While I believe the metaphor is useful and I did learn some things, I believe understanding John and Paul's writings in the New Testament actually address these same concepts.  Also John Maxwell's Ethics 101 is a great book which sets an ethical foundation squarely on the golden rule is a much better look at how to live in relationship with those around us.