QBQ - book study - Introduction - ch. 7

I have posted earlier about the book QBQ by John Miller and will try not to duplicate that information in this and subsequent posts.  This post is related to a book study of QBQ in which I am participating.  So far I have attended the first session and we have read up through chapter 7.  This is not as much reading as you might think since many of the chapters are only a page or two in length.   So far the study has gone well and the facilitator of the first session did an exceptional job, especially since it is a large group, most of whom are participating virtually through web/phone conferencing.

The first part of the book explains that the IQ (Incorrect Questions) which most often come to mind when we are faced with challenges are usually the wrong ones for achieving the outcomes we truly desire, and ultimately our success and happiness.  These questions usually begin with "Who," "Why," or "When."  Examples of these kind of questions are:

• "When is that department going to do its job?"
• Why don't they communicate better?"
• "Who dropped the ball?"
• "Why do we have to go through all this change?"
• "When is someone going to train me?"

As you can see, all of these questions, and indeed, most of our questions are designed to deflect responsibility anywhere except back to us.  In QBQ Mr. Miller tells us that the beginning of effectiveness lies in our choice; and that we always have a choice!  The beginning of choice is to determine to ask the Question BEHIND the Question.  He provides three guidelines for creating a QBQ: (p.18)

1. Begin with "What" or "How" (not "Why," "When," or "Who")
2. Contain an "I" (not "they," "them," "we," or "you")
3. Focus on action

I think the challenge will be to consciously pay attention to my speech patterns and then practice re-framing  my questions to fit the model outlined above.

One of the quotes which jumped out at me was: "The best thing we can do to get rid of victim thinking in our world is to get rid of it in ourselves." p. 23

This really resonates with me because I see so much victim thinking every day.  When we believe we can't, we are already defeated.  I choose to believe that there is more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak.

This is a great reminder about personal accountability and I'm looking forward to these studies to reinforce the necessity to make the right choices.