More from 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

As I mentioned in my previous post, Chapman and White identify five different "languages" or methods for expressing appreciation with variations within each language.  For instance if an individual's primary language of appreciation is gifts, not just any gift will suffice - it needs to be tailored to what the individual values, which requires some thought.

This is one of the main take-aways from this book - appreciation even in the preferred "language" of the recipient must be genuine.  If you are only looking for a quick fix on employee discontent without being willing to truly engage in genuinely caring behavior, it will backfire and cause more harm than good.  This applies across the board.  Genuine appreciation cannot be faked and requires from supervisors and co-workers respect and shared experiences and goals.

Another of the take-aways is that we will usually have a "blind spot" in the area of our lowest language of appreciation.  The blind spot occurs because that language doesn't communicate to me, and by extrapolation, I can't begin to understand how it could communicate to another.  In other words, it lies outside of my frame of emotional frame of reference.   Although I might understand it intellectually, I will also tend to rationalize that they just don't understand how much better my primary language is.  The author's state: "Here is a fact that can save you a lot of time and emotional energy, if you are willing to accept it: a person's lowest language of appreciation really is not important to them."  If that is the language of verbal praise, then you can genuinely compliment them all day long in public and private and they will still feel unappreciated!  This can be a shocking revelation but if you reflect on your own life you can see how some expressions of appreciation don't mean as much to you as they seem to mean to others.

As I mentioned, there is a survey code provided with the book and it identifies your primary language and your lowest language of appreciation.  I've been thinking about how to apply this information in a work setting.  Have each of my direct reports take the survey?  Hold a workshop on the languages of appreciation?  If what Chapman and White say is true: "Research indicates that communicating appreciation to employees decreases the chances of their leaving, increases customer satisfaction, and sometimes improves productivity."  then I need to put more thought and effort into this, particularly if I want to avoid/reduce employee turnover and create a culture within the workplace which truly expresses the appreciation I feel, but often neglect to communicate (or communicate in the wrong language).