The Politics of Meetings, part 4

There are aspects to every meeting which go beyond the typical literature on conducting effective meetings.  It is important to make sure you have an agenda, have invited the right people to the meeting and be sure to define the take aways along with the responsible parties.   

      But there is more to a meeting than that.  So, this series of posts will deal with what I call the Politics of Meetings.  Some have an intuitive grasp of these principles, but most never quite understand there is much more going on, some of which can have serious implications for your ability to rise within the organization. These will not appear in any specific order.

      7.  Relating to others in meetings:

a.       Your skill in personal dynamics is probably the most important ingredient you bring to any meeting .

b.      Always be aware of your own emotions and make sure to keep them under control.  It is OK to express strong emotions, however, defensiveness or anger directed toward another individual will not serve you well in the long-run and maybe not in the immediate.

c.       Learn to be aware of the subtle clues of other’s emotional state and recognize when they are feeling threatened or becoming angry.  Practice strategies for defusing potentially problematic emotional build up.  These might include:  an obviously non-related comment or personal story, re-focus on the issue (instead of the emotion), a (deserved) compliment of the other’s contribution to this point, etc.

d.      Always treat others with respect, regardless of whether or not you like them or feel they are competent.  You won’t always like everyone you work with and there will even be times when you will feel some of your co-workers may not be competent for the position they hold; but everyone deserves to be treated with respect.  This applies when talking directly to them and when talking to others – ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT even when they are not in the room.

e.      Never let anger push you to a statement or response which will destroy a working relationship.  If such a break must occur, make sure it is made with both sides of your brain and not a purely emotional response.

f.        If you are the object of a personal attack:  a) take a deep breath (this oxygenates your brain and helps you think more clearly, b) pose a reflective question such as “It feels to me that you are attacking me personally about this issue, is that the case and if so why?”  This usually diverts the attack back to the issue, however, if not, listen to what is said and reply with something like this:  “I can see your point and I will definitely think about what you have said.”  Then intentionally refocus the conversation back to the issue.