Pondering the Mysteries of Life

Here we are at the end of another year.  Older and arguably wiser, although some might contest that assumption. 

At this time I always begin to reflect over the events of the past year from a forest/trees perspective.  That is, I try to step back and see how the events of the year have fit into the whole of my life.  Like the tapestry analogy which we have all heard, what have the events of my year contributed to the "picture" being formed by my living. 

• Did I make good choices?  
• Have I done anything which benefits others: eg my family, my friends, my co-workers, my fellow church goers, humanity in general?  
• Have I remained true to my values?  If not where am I slipping . . . and why?  
• What challenges did I face, and did I do so with God's grace and courage, or did I flee and hide.  
• Have I hurt someone.
• Would anyone say that their life has been blessed because of something I have done or said?
• Did I reach the goals I set for myself, and if not, why not?
• What new goals should be part of this new year . . . and what is my plan to realize those goals?

I hope you ask yourself these questions, too.  That is really one of the major things which continues to define us as being made in His image, i.e. that we care about how we have and are connecting with each other.  After all, if you can't lead yourself, you will eventually fail in your attempts to lead others.

I digress . . . p2

Are television and movies a reflection of life, or an initiator of behavior . . . or both?  When I see a rise in shows that portray atrocities and in life we experience atrocities such as the elementary school shooting a couple of weeks ago my mind automatically looks for patterns, and then alternative solutions.  Here's one solution.

Anytime an individual AND his/her accomplices are convicted of premeditated action which results in the death OR addition to a controlled substance involving two or more children under the age of 12 there is a mandated death sentence.  That this be a federal law similar to that established for taking hostages.  Also, should an individual AND his/her accomplices be convicted of attempting premeditated murder or distribution of a controlled substance involving two or more children under the age of 12, there is a mandated life sentence without parole.

Our children must be protected.

Just a thought - yours??

Session 5 - 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

7 Habits - Book Study Session 5

Maggie Flemming led the discussion on Habit 7 as we concluded our study of this book.

Habit 7 is Sharpen the Saw: Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal.  Using the four words suggested by Covey, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social/Emotional, Maggie challenged those attending to think about how to re-phrase these 4 areas in a way that was personally meaningful.  This led to the conversation about each of the areas and our own personal understanding of the area and, of course, how much balance we are experiencing among the four areas.

Probably the area receiving the most attention was the Physical Dimension.  Focused on Exercise, Nutrition, & Stress Management, I think we all agreed this is an area where there is room for improvement.  We learned that some literally hate exercise and that finding balance in this area has been a challenge.  Still, from Covey’s explanation I think we all came to see that if we ignore this area it adversely affects us in other areas and makes it difficult for us to be truly effective.  Eating nutritiously is a big part of this, but, unfortunately so is exercise.  Like in all things finding the right balance so that it compliments the whole rather than becomes an obsession probably will require more effort than any of the other areas.

The Mental Dimension encourages us to do the right things to keep our minds active.  I like to play sudoku and other puzzle games help.  I have also found it useful to keep four books going at any one time:  one that focuses on leadership, one that is professional related to my work, one that is spiritual/devotional, and a novel.  I have found this keeps my mind active and opens up new thoughts and ideas.  Whatever we do, it won’t happen accidently so, again, this will require us to exercise that habit of proactivity.

Spiritual Dimension.  Maggie encouraged us to think about this in different ways depending on your understanding of “spiritual.”  She suggested values or conscience as another way of thinking about this dimension.  We didn’t discuss this much but I certainly believe that we are created with a spiritual dimension and that to ignore this is to basically eliminate a major portion of our self.  Since we are doing this around Christmas: think Scrouge and you’ll get the picture.

The final dimension was the Social/Emotional.  Here Maggie equated this with relationships and I heartily agree with her.  The importance of balanced attention to our relationships cannot be overstated.  The impact of how we script others through our actions/words as well as how we ourselves are scripted was discussed.  Understanding ourselves and our own values helps us to avoid the negative scripting of others; it also helps us to avoid negatively scripting others.

If you have a story or thought to share about any of the four area, please comment in reply to this post.

All in all this was an excellent study and Gordon even recommended that all new hires be required to participate in a study of this book within their first year of employment.

The next study will be announced soon.

Book Review: The Facts of Business Life

What is needed in order to be a good leader? I think it begins with two macro concepts. First, a leader has to have the ability to visualize what success looks like; meaning that . . .

Read the rest of this article which is based on the book:  The Facts of Business Life.  Definitely interesting.

I Digress . . .

You may not be aware of it, but in ancient Egypt, if a Pharoah was usurped it was often the case that the new Pharoah would have any references to the deposed Pharoah removed, be it in scrolls or even when carved into stone.  It would all have to go and the memory of that individual was eliminated from the history of the nation.

Today we have some conservative religious groups who practice "shunning" for any members of their sect who break with the tennants of their faith and their community.  The one shunned is treated as if they don't exist for the rest of the community.

Let me preface the next paragraph by saying I am definitely in favor of treating every person in my life as a person of value.  You may know one of my principles of life is that "Everything can be reduced to relationships."  You may not know that I equate "being made in the image of God" with the importance of interpersonal relationships.  If we treated each other with love and respect (or at least respect) that would remove a lot of the excuses for some of the heinous acts we hear about.

So, here's what I'm thinking.  When tradgedies occur like what happened in the school shooting last week, let's commit ourselves as a society to eliminate ANY media attention to the perpetrator of the atrocity.  Let's eliminate that individual from the collective memory and pay attention instead to the value and beauty of life.  I don't want to hear the name or whatever rationale has been cooked up by distraught (don't get me started on parenting) parents or psychologists looking to make a name for themeselves by tying their wagon to the pain of others.  Whoever it is, and for whatever reason it was done, should be noted as a NON-Person.  Sure study the causes and hopefully find something beneficial, but eliminate the name and the memory of the individual.  Does that sound harsh?  Ask the parents of the slain children and see what they think.

Flow Charts - how important are they?

I heard someone talking the other day about being raised on a farm and mentioning the various animals that were a part of the growing up experience.  Then they made an interesting statement, "When you hear about there being a 'pecking-order' among chickens, its really true."  

Something else is true: there is also a 'pecking-order' in authority and influence in every gathering of human beings, from the informal to the highly focused.  You may not want this to be the case, you might even insist that in your organization, at least, it is not the case, BUT IT IS ALWAYS THE CASE.  There is always structure. 

In some cases the structure is informal where everyone pretends that there isn't a structure and everyone has an equal say (even though most will look to one individual or another before actually weighing in on a decision to get their opinion)  and in other cases there is a clearly outlined structure with a defined flow-chart (which may or may not reflect the actual flow of authority and influence).

The benefit of the flow chart is that it presents a visible/tangible explanation of how authority is supposed to flow within the organization.  With careful work, rigorous conversations, and constant attention, the flow chart can be of great value in directing the energies of the organization to be more effective.  If, however, the flow chart is simply an exercise to accomplish, it is likely that it doesn't accurately reflect the authority structures of the organization, and is, thus, useless for all intents and purposes.  I suspect that if you are dubious of the value of a flow chart it is because your experience is more with the latter method described above than the former.

Influence is an entirely different animal and I'm not sure I've ever seen a flow chart build from the perspective of influence.  Most flowcharts are build on the basis of position, but if it were built on the basis of influence it would revolve around individuals.  My experience has been that influence doesn't necessarily follow the same paths as authority so this would be an interesting project.

Bottom line - spending time building and maintaining an accurate flowchart that everyone agrees to and follows is a worthwhile investment.

Character Based Leadership

"The greatest threat to any leader comes not from without, but from within. It is who we are, more than anything else, that will derail us. The traits we so value in great leaders is a matter of character. And it is through this character that our leadership is manifested. It creates the space in which we lead.

Good leadership rests upon good character. "

To read the full article click here 

This is a book review from another leadership blog which reinforces many of the other posts I have made here, i.e. Character makes a difference in leadership.

7 Habits - Session 4 - Guest post by Nicole M. Wilson

Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then be Understood

As I looked through the book chapters, one chapter in particular stood out – Empathic Communication.  I’ve always thought of myself as an effective communicator, but this chapter challenged me to change my perspective regarding communication.  Generally speaking, people listen with the intent to reply; in doing so, we often “misdiagnosis” the real problem.  Covey suggests that to improve our effectiveness as leaders, we must listen with the intent to understand.  Don’t just understand the words, understand the true emotion behind the words.  Communication is 60% non-verbal, 30% tone of voice and 10% words.   

Empathic communication recognizes that, to get the full picture, you need to listen to what isn’t being said. Listen with your ears, your eyes and your heart.   Covey goes on to suggest that once we truly understand the other person (where they’re coming from and why), we have built a foundation of trust and established our credibility.  It goes back to the old saying “Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care”.  Once understanding is established, people are more responsive to our need to be understood.  When we really, deeply understand each other, we open the door to creative solutions and third alternatives. Our differences are no longer stumbling blocks to communication and progress. Instead, they become the stepping stones to synergy (pp. 259).

Habit 6 – Synergize

Synergy is everywhere. It can be positive synergy or negative synergy.  In habit 6, Covey defines synergy as “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.  Anyone who has been a part of a championship team, or a successful project implementation can relate to the power of synergy.  It seems when a team is on a roll – they’re unstoppable, but when they’re having a losing streak, they can’t seem to break it.  Things continue in the direction that synergy pushes them. Covey notes that once people have experienced true synergy, they are never quite the same again. 

As we discussed the concept of synergy during the book study, we shared our personal experiences.  It isn’t surprising that all of our experiences had a common factor – trust.  Trust is the foundation of a relationship and is a necessary foothold if we are going to be effective leaders.  When trust is established, people feel safe to share new ideas or concepts and brainstorming is maximized.  High levels of trust combined with high levels of cooperation allow for win/win situations to be created.